he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
