There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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