i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
