That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
