Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
