my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
