based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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