Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
