My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
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