STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
