direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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