i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
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