check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
