I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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