just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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