I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
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