what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize