I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
