I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
