shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
