did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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