i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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