just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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