Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
