i used baking grease as lip gloss
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
