chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
