I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
