it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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