is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
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