Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
