If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
