I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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