Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
