just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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