standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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