You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
