i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
