He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
