Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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