I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
