I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
