Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
