We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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