Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
