Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
