I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
