Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
