We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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