Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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