I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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