I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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