It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
