I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
and she was petting her beer can
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
