I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
