I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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