so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
