If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
