end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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