dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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