I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
