Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize