:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
