how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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