wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
