he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
